A friend sent this to me... it's pretty funny.

>

>

> here are Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the

> time to write this all down

>

> Finally, the guys' side of the story.

> (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

> We always hear "the rules"

>>From the female side.

>

>

> Now here are the rules from the male side.

> These are our rules!

> Please note.. these are all numbered "1"

> ON PURPOSE!

>

>

>

> 1. Men are NOT mind readers.

>

> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

> We need it up, you need it down.

> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

>

> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the

> tides.

> Let it be.

>

> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

>

> 1. Crying is blackmail.

>

> 1. Ask for what you want.

> Let us be clear on this one:

> Subtle hints do not work!

> Strong hints do not work!

> Obvious hints do not work!

> Just say it!

>

> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

>

> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

> what we do.

> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

>

> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

> See a doctor.

>

> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

>

> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect

> us to act like soap opera guys.

>

> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

> Don't ask us.

>

> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the

> ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

>

> 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it

> done.

> Not both.

> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

>

> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during

> commercials.

>

> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

>

> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

> We have no idea what mauve is.

>

> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

> We do that.

>

> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act l! like

> nothing's wrong.

> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

>

> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer

> you don't want to hear.

>

> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.

> Really.

>

> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to

> discuss such topics as baseball, basketball, football, the shotgun

> formation, or golf.

>

> 1. You have enough clothes.

>

> 1. You have too many shoes.

>

> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

>

> 1. ! Thank you for reading this.

> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

>

>

> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

>

> Pass this to as many men as you can -

> to give them a laugh.

>

> Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh