The Correct Way to Come Home Drunk ....

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other
and says, "You know I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after
we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the
driveway. I shut off the engine and coast

into the garage. Take my shoes
off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the
bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent
splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me
for staying out so late."

His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong
approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps,
pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in
the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the ass
and say 'WHO'S HORNY????!!!' and she acts like she's sound asleep! Works
every time!!!!"